Thursday, May 28, 2009

You, Roxana Saberi, Are A Douche Bag

You, Roxana Saberi, are a douchebag.

You aren't a douchebag because in college at Concordia in Moorhead, Minnesota you complained about America all of the time. America has free speech. You aren't a douchebag because you were Miss North Dakota in the Miss America pageant. The Miss America pageant has been on the decline for that last two years, despite the parade of beautiful women in bathing suits and evening gowns, uncovered in public. You aren't even a douchebag because you decided to have dual-citizenship with America and Iran, that is your background. We get it.

But you are a douchebag for playing the victim in a political game you started yourself my taking classified documents from government office in Iran while working there as a translator. You are a douchebag because you took classified documents for your own use for a book. You are a douchebag for allowing your father to believe you were arrested for buying wine, when the Iranian government came to your home on January 30th and arrested you on a warrant that they have. You are a douchebag for knowing that Iranian-Americans are watched, and reporting AFTER IRAN REVOKED YOUR PRESS PASS THREE YEARS EARLIER! You are a douchebag for claiming to go on a hunger strike until you were either freed or died, and not following through with it. Who do you think you are, f-n Bobby Sands? You are a douchebag for being an Iranian citizen in Iran on an Iranian passport and breaking Iranian law and then expecting the United States to bail you out, when you cannot even mention your own brother who is in the US military because you are afraid of what Iran would say to that.

You are a douchebag for going to Israel even though Iranians are prohibited.

And you are a douchebag for your very Miss America-like speech when entering Dulles Airport, saying you were singing the national anthem. Please.

You are not a celebrity. You do not need celebrity-like security detail.

At least you have a few more chapters for you book, right?

Congrats, Roxana Saberi, for proclaiming yourself a victim and taking attention from real heros, the men and women that put their lives on the line every day to serve our country. This wasn't a matter of freedom of press, it was a matter of a silly girl making stupid decisions and then not having the ovarian fortitude to face her consequences.

Congrats, Miss North Dakota, you are a douchebag!

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